Yesterday I took the day off. We had no baseball, and I decided to that I didn’t want to go to Salinas for a day. I didn’t want to face the responsibility of my sick dad laying in a hospital bed, and me being helpless to do a damn thing about it. But you honestly can’t hide from reality & it didn’t keep me from stressing about him all day… so I threw some Valor Essential Oil in my necklace, hopped in the car and drove to see my Pops.
I was pleasantly surprised when I went into the hospital today…. Pops was on another floor, and as I rounded the corner to find his room, I found him standing in the hallway (with 3 physical therapists), but still…. his balance was good & he was even able to sit himself back down in the wheelchair! But….
Walking, sitting, moving arms, hands, feet….. it is very primitively wired in our brains. So, while they are happy he is able to do those things, it isn’t really where we were hoping to see improvement.
He still isn’t communicating. He isn’t really making eye contact. He still can’t swallow. I’m not 100% sure he knew it was me there with him today. He still has a gravage tube in his nose to provide nutrition. He still needs to wear mittens to keep him from unplugging.
I spoke to the neurosurgeon today. He didn’t seem to concerned with dad’s current state – given the trauma to his brain. They keep him sedated off and on, because when he isn’t, he is agitated & aggressive….. I explained that Pops being agitated at being in the hospital is pretty much “normal”.
Early next week they will be putting a feeding tube in his stomach- remove the gravage tube. Given that he isn’t ready to swallow food (or even water), the tube in the nose & down the throat is not the most comfortable option. The speech therapist will continue to work with him to get him ready to swallow and cough….
I guess we just need to wait and see if the verbal communication kicks in *sigh*….. Although I was told he clearly told the PT that she was “full of shit”…. so there is that 🙄
I can tell he is frustrated. I’m frustrated for him. He hates not being able to talk, yell, get up and take a walk, scratch an itch, eat, drink, cough…. I need him to get stronger. I need him to be a smart ass. I need him to fight!
We need to start planning for what comes next. Where will he live? What level of care will he need? It isn’t going to be easy, but it needs to get done.
#AdultingSucks #CrazyAsAMother #ValorIsAmazing #YallNeedOils
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