I love sleep. I really do. It is my chance to reset, rest my brain, be still. Being still is a challenge for me….
I sleep like a rock. I fall asleep fast. I sleep hard. I can sleep anywhere – lights, noise, whatever…. most of the time at least (I will tell you about the things that do wake me in the middle of the night, and I am not very gracious when I am woken up)!
Last night, after work I ran all over town to take care this volunteer gig, and then another… When we finally sat down, ate leftovers for dinner, and watched TV – I was DONE. We watched one recorded show and then decided it was an early bed night. We don’t have the kids on most Wednesday through Friday nights… so I didn’t need to stay awake to adult! By 9 pm, I was tucked into bed to read for a bit. Half a page later (and before Jerritt ever walked into the room), I was OUT! I slept solidly through until my alarm started at 3:30 this morning. I hit snooze at least 3 times before I could convince myself to start the day…. I need to be getting my ass up and going to the gym – but we will talk about that some other time!
My life is crazy busy – by my own design. I hustle hard. I love my job, but going to work is work. I am helping start a non-profit travel baseball team for one kid. I do what I can to support soccer for the other. I volunteer at school (it is our last year in elementary). I take pictures at every event. I do yearbook. I help drive kids to practices, art class… wherever. Fundraisers – for different things – ALL YEAR LONG! I do the grocery and other shopping. I cook meals – for at least half the week (thank goodness for kid-less nights & leftovers). I fold and put away laundry (Jerritt usually helps get it washed and dried). The family helps me keep the house clean. I am trying to figure out how to get stared with my advanced education….. I have a million things going on in my head at any given time – so when I am done, I am done. And just like that – I am able to turn it off & get the rest that I need. Pretty sure if I didn’t, I would die.
I think in addition to just being tired from all the crazy – I sleep well, because I am pretty darn content with my life. I don’t stress over things that aren’t perfect. I let things go and know that things will work out – one way or another & I have great people around me to help me through any challenges. I’ve learned over the years that you aren’t going to “fix” anything by letting it keep you awake at night. Being over tired leads to more stress. More stress leads to more sleeplessness… It is a viscous cycle, and if you are in it, you have to find your way out!
I have had insomnia before. It sucks. I am glad it only happens once in a great while, and I feel sorry for those who suffer from it for long periods of time. Jerritt has a hard time falling asleep – so I am sure I drive him crazy. Luckily for him, losing 100 pounds mean I snore a lot less!
Now don’t get me wrong. I spend a lot of late nights working all all the extra in my life (and still have get my ass up for work). Don’t even talk to me about sleep around holidays or special occasions…. I’m the mom who will stay up all night to make sure Christmas morning is perfect – and usually the first one awake (damn it – wake up and appreciate all the hard work I did to create magic)!!! And I can (usually) stay awake in social situations. Occasionally I will stay awake watching something good on TV, or finish a really good book.
But USUALLY, if I am sitting still, and especially there if our dog is snuggled up next to me – most of the time I am going to fall asleep. It can be the most interesting thing in the world playing out in front of me, and I will crash out. As soon as I stop working on one thing or another, I am gone. It is kind of ridiculous, and totally awesome at the same time.
You can have full on conversations with me in my sleep. I will have no clue. I can sleep sitting up. I can lay on the ground or couch and not complain. I can usually sleep through the kids getting up at night – Kevin can be a sleepwalker…. and why we put a hotel lock on our front door when he was little. I can sleep through whatever action movie or wrestling Jerritt puts on the tv in our room. We have a huge, comfy sleep number, dual adjustable bed. It is amazing. Pair that with a lovely diffuser and some amazing essential oils – and there is no way not to sleep….
EXCEPT – I literally sleep on the very edge of the above mentioned large and comfy bed. The VERY EDGE. I hold on to my blankets for dear life, so I don’t freeze – thankful I don’t roll off. While I do fight Jerritt for the covers, it is not him who puts me to the edge of the bed…. It is the damn dog that we love so much!
Cooper looks pretty small. He shouldn’t take up much room, right?!? Apparently, my sleep number works so well for him, he has decided it is his side of the bed. This dog LOVES to sleep under the covers (usually with his head on my pillow – ridiculous, I know). He stretches out as long as he possibly can, his back right up against mine, and his legs out to the other side. I am convinced he is trying to push me off, but he just hasn’t succeeded yet. I can’t even move to push him over! He has me stuck unless I get out of bed and pick him up and move him…. And then he will growl at me! I wish I was kidding. I have woken up to cuss at the cute little shit more than once – as my back was completely cramped up and I was freezing with no blankets…. It is a good thing he is cute, because the nights his shenanigans keep me awake, I am not a happy camper.
Speaking of middle of the night shenanigans…. Jerritt. When he does sleep, he also sleeps pretty hard. He is one of those that will roll over and take ALL the blankets with him. Ugh. But that isn’t even the worst part. He freaking steals my pillow!!! Right out from under my fucking head! I instantly wake up – so mad! Sometimes I can grab it before he can pull it all the way out from under me. Sometimes he steals it and throws it on the ground on the other side of the bed! One night, I grabbed it back so fast – I knocked over my lamp, diffuser, oil stash…. the whole thing went flying. And then… in the morning he asks me how I slept….. I get sooooo mad! He has NO RECOLLECTION of torturing me the night before. I want to punch him so hard when this happens – I really do. I am not a violent person, but this about pushes me over the edge. Oh, and did I mention that he sometimes sleeps diagonally across the bed?!? Its a good thing I love him, because some nights I feel like killing him…
I am so crabby when my precious sleep gets interrupted. It is very much not like me. But damn it – leave me alone when I am sleeping! This is a tiring season in life. We have so much good going on, and not enough hours in the day to make it happen. At some point this season will end, and I can catch up on sleep then….
For now, I will keep attempting to sleep hard when I get the chance! I’m thankful the boys are reaching the age of sleeping in (not that our schedules allow us to enjoy it), but hey – there are occasions! I will take the elusive lazy weekend days that we spend in bed and order food in. Make every restful minute count!
#CrazyAsAMother #TiredAsAMother #CoopersSleepNumberIs35 #LeaveMyPillowAlone #IfYouLoveMeLetMeSleep