This is an open letter to the mom who lost her shit at our kids school yesterday.
This is NOT the first time, and I am sure it won’t be the last. I don’t need to give your name, or feel the need to public shame you – to give you more fuel for your raging fires of hatred…. You know who you are (and well, so does ALL the parents in the pick up line who watched it go down, and the amazing staff who helped diffuse the situation, and well – it is a small town, so…)
In case you didn’t know- your kid is THAT kid at our school. The one who no one has to say their name, and everyone knows who you are referring to. They are the one that the teachers and staff tiptoe around, because every time your kid gets in trouble for his actions, they know that you will be in the office freaking out. No one wants to deal with him (you), because nothing good ever comes of it. And that makes me angry. It makes me sad for him. It makes me resent you.
Maybe you don’t realize the lasting damage that is taking place. Your kid is smart. And when he wants to be, he is polite and very nice. He has the capacity to be anything he wants to be. But, he needs to learn to respect people. All people. Other kids and certainly adults. Respect for ANYONE is clearly lacking, and you continue to make him out to be a VICTIM – when I have seen first hand that the staff at the school is trying to keep him on task and moving forward. YOU ARE FAILING HIM AS A PARENT.
You are not teaching him that there are consequences for his actions. You have put it in his head that when an adult corrects his behavior, they are harassing him. He thinks that the yard supervisors and teachers pick on him. I have been in the classrooms helping out, I have been on field trips with your child. I have seen him on the playground, and I have heard from my own children what they deal with (or avoid) every day that they are in school with him. Your child has yelled in my face before as I was volunteering at the school, and I was just trying to offer a suggestion to solve what he perceived as a life-and-death emergency…. Funny thing, he was trying to avoid making you mad, mom….
It is no mystery why your child shows no respect or self control. He learns it from you.
Yesterday your child was reprimanded for physical violence against another child. The yard supervisor (my sister) stepped in, because HER JOB is to keep all the kids safe. Then he used his cell phone, that he wasn’t supposed to have out on the playground, and called YOU.
Your son was in my sisters face, yelling at her when she stopped his violent behavior, and he calls you?!? Did you ask him what he did? Did you come to office and calmly ask to speak like an adult to the adult that was doing her job? Of course not!!!
You showed up at the school, and tried to physically assault my sister while verbally berating her – in front of the entire after school pick up line of parents. There were students and parents RIGHT there! YOUR CHILD watched this happen – in fact he is the one to call me the authorities! Because somehow he has been raised to think that someone stopping him from being violent towards another student is a violation of his rights.
What makes me sad/angry/anxious about the whole situation is that you will face consequences for your actions – but it will just feed your narcissistic victim mentality. Somehow the actions of your son that put that days events in motion, and your own choices thereafter – are not your fault…. Somehow, in your mind, it is the system and the staff failing the two of you.
It is time to wake up. If I wasn’t so angry about the whole situation, I would feel sorry for you. Like it, or not – we are part of the same community. As a parent, you need to set an example for your child about respecting other people. You need to teach him that there are consequences for his actions. If you don’t do it NOW, the ramifications are going to be HUGE. He feels like he is untouchable – and that scares the crap out of me.
Lady – my kids are NOT perfect. And I sure as hell am not a perfect parent…. but, my kids are held accountable for their actions. I have first hand experience with our school staff reaching out to me about a behavior “concern”, and working as a team to correct it. My kids are not victims of society – I will not allow it. I usually ask my kids to be inclusive of all other kids – no matter what… but sadly I ask them to just stay away from yours – and that breaks my heart.
I wish that you would let people help you. I wish that you would listen and learn and work with our community to help get your kid on a good path. It is heartbreaking to watch adults give up on your son’s potential, because all the work they put in is undermined by you.
We aren’t raising kids in some inner city, where they are just a number in a system. We have amazing resources, parents, teachers, staff in our small town school. All of whom what to see every child succeed. I wish that you understood what a gift we have in being part of this community, and that you would use the help that is offered to you. I hope that someday, someone is able to reach your child on a level that connects with him – and that he is able to break this cycle….
You have attacked a member of my family. You have gone onto a campus, that I regard as a safe place, and attacked a staff member – making it feel less safe. My venting here is not going to change you. You don’t want any help, because I guess you think people would see you are weak, or you would have to admit you might be wrong. I am so angry, and only YOU can change the path you and your son are on. I wish you luck with that…