Reality Check

The other day I was cleaning my room, and I came across this little gem….

Reality Check
Kevin wrote this last year – excuse the phonetic spelling….

I have shared it before, but it still is a good reminder.

I don’t remember the exact circumstance, but I imagine it was one of those days where I felt I had to completely lose my shit in order to get the kids to pay attention.  Ugh.  I hate those days.  The bickering, the back talk, the constant reminders to the boys that they have certain responsibilities…..  The frustration level builds and builds – until it happens.  I yell and scream and cuss – and sometimes even cry.  Completely ridiculous.

Somehow, this “apology note” (and the little gift he made me) was like a flick in the forehead.  Seriously.  Was there anything that happened that day that should have caused a complete and total breakdown?!? Again, without remembering exactly what set me off on this particular day – I can say with certainty that my kids have never done anything so horrible that deserves me becoming a raving lunatic.  So was I really mad at them?  Or was I upset because my day did not go how I wanted it to go? Think about it for a minute…..

My kid was somehow able to see through my tantrum and apologize – not for his behavior, but for my missed unrealistic expectations.

Being a parent is challenging. That is not news to anyone.  In a previous post, I talked about “choose” being my mantra this year.  We all have the chance to choose how we react to any situation that life throws at us.  We can’t always control the situation, but we can always control how we act.  Being a mom is really no different.

Sure, who doesn’t want days with no sibling rivalry?  No arguing over who needs to put the milk away, or who rode in the front seat last.  No whining because they are bored or hungry or tired.  A day where everyone does what they need to do, without me being the bad guy…  And yet, when that day comes, I will probably feel like I am not needed – and that will suck so much more!

Just yesterday, I allowed my crappy attitude to perpetuate a bad day, until I pulled my head out of my ass and adjusted my path.  And… it had NOTHING to do with my kids. Granted, the people I was dealing with have the mentality of high school mean girls, but still…

I’m not saying there won’t be more days like this. I imagine the frequency is about to increase as we approach the boys 10th birthday (next week).  I am positive my frustration level will grow right in line with my expectations of their behavior.  But I am going to honestly try to keep this reminder from Kevin in the back of my mind….

Make the best of the days you have.  Especially when it comes to spending time with those that you love. Adjust your expectations.  Change your plans.  Make the most of life & live it to the fullest.  OR…. Choose to be miserable and angry. Miss out on the good stuff.

The choice is yours.

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My philosophical sweetheart of a kid – Kevin.  He seriously has the best heart……

#CrazyAsAMother #ChooseHappy #RealityCheck

Mom’s Day Off?

This morning I was thinking…. I am going to take today off – kind of a private Mother’s Day Celebration! 

Kids are at school & with their dad today.

Jerritt is at work. 

House is quiet. 

The dog and I can lay in bed all morning, sip coffee, watch last nights Grey’s Anatomy & whatever else….  I can take a day off from worrying about job applications, cleaning house, getting anyone to practice, or games, or whatever…. I don’t even have to cook dinner tonight, because I am the only one eating (snacking, whatever)!

I mean – best Mother’s Day gift ever, right?!?

Then mom-reality sets in…. I need to at least go to the store. We need coffee (seriously NEED), I need snacks for Nate’s last regular season little league game tomorrow, we have people coming over this weekend – so I need to do some cleaning…. 

So while my fantasy of taking a whole do nothing day will have to wait – I am going to at least give myself a lazy start to the day! 

Hope you have a great Friday my friends! Be sure to make some Mama’s day a little brighter this weekend…. she deserves it (trust me)!

#CrazyLikeAMother #IWokeUpLikeThis 😂

When I Grow Up…..

Well.  Here I am. Pushing 40 years old (in 10 months), and I have no clue what I want to be when I grow up.  Maybe I am already supposed to be a grown up, but sometimes it is clear I missed the memo.

There is a distant memory from childhood, where I really wanted to be a Marine Biologist (and sail on the “Voyage of the Mimi” with an adorable, young Ben Affleck to study humpback whales) – but I don’t have the same dream today.  I still love the ocean – but science & math….  I have never been one of those women who has a clear professional vision or goal.  I never set out to be some highfalutin boss lady.   Don’t get me wrong, I am good at what I do.  I have built a successful career so far.  So what the heck have I been doing for the last 20+ years, and how did I get where I am today?

So let me start by stating…. I have a long term, lofty dream – and I am working on making it a plan.  But that isn’t what I am sharing today.  Today I am talking about finding my next adventure (you know, to finance the dreams).  I want a job.  I need to work.  I need to feel productive.  I need to contribute to my family – really… I don’t know how to let others take care of me.

I have had amazing opportunities throughout my career to train & work with some of the best organizations world wide.  The title I have carried most often the past 20ish years is Program Manager.  That same title has had multiple meanings across multiple organizations.

I have been parts of companies that have seen tremendous growth and devastating loses.  I’ve been part of acquisitions, closed down facilities, and I have been downsized right out of a job more than a few times.  Each time has been a new learning experience, and no matter how painful or scary – it has meant personal growth.

I am a problem solver by nature.  And a “people-pleaser” to a fault.  I love understanding what people need and figuring out how to make it happen.  Primarily I love building relationships with people – customers, internal team, CEO, janitor…. they are all people.  They all have a voice, and all have a stake in the success of an organization or project.

I love to learn about new things.  I never went into manufacturing with a burning desire to learn how to manufacture amazing, beautiful product from flat sheet metal and hardware – but I learned all that I could.  I soaked up the knowledge of as many people around me – because it made me better at my job.  It built relationships with every person on the team, and it made them invested in the success.

And there is this…. I don’t have a degree.  I know.  Shocking.  I have been working my ass off and having a very successful career, but never finished a degree.  It is amazing how 20+ years of experience means less to employers than a degree.  But I have missed out on amazing opportunities because of this little (huge) fact.  I am not opposed to getting a degree.  I am at a point in life where I can see it happening…. but reference the start of this story – I don’t know what I want to be.

My boys are getting older – they will hit double digits in 13 days *sigh*.  They won’t want me involved in all the school stuff as they head to middle school and beyond.  They would rather go places with friends’ families than with me….  Sure, they have loved having me home the past couple of months while I figure this out – but we may not survive the summer.  Seriously.  Not without some day drinking.

I want a job where I can make an impact on people.  Make their lives a little brighter.  I want to be a part of something GOOD.  A company I can respect.  A company with values and leadership that I am proud to be a part of. I would love a work culture that doesn’t care if I have some purple color in my hair or tattoos… because they know that it is just a part of me.

Me.  Wonderfully flawed, mistake making mom – just trying to save the world.

There are a lot of great opportunities out there.  I am thankful that I am given some time to consider my options and choose.  That is my word of the year.  Choose.  You can choose to be happy, or you can choose to be miserable.  You can choose how you respond to the world, even if you can’t always choose what happens.  But there is always a decision to make.  You always have the power to choose to be the best you.

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(the beautiful watercolor art was done by my amazingly talented friend Stacey Wilson)

So, if you see me running around town like a chicken with my head cut off…. now you know why.  I am trying to figure out who I want to be and how to get there.  I am sure the right path will appear soon, but I’m doing the best I can for now.  Try to figure out how to turn my dreams into plans and be the best me I can be along the way.

So – What do you want to be when you grow up?  And when are we officially grown up?  Ugh….

#CrazyAsAMother #OneMistakeAtATime #MomOfTheYear